


(i wish i could) run to you

by doc_pickles



Series: TS x Jolex Week [1]
Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Alex centric, Angst, F/M, TSJolexWeek, a taylor swift lyric for a title again? must be a day that ends in Y
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:02:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26066194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doc_pickles/pseuds/doc_pickles
Summary: Oh, we made quite a mess, babeIt's probably better off this wayAnd I confess, babeIn my dreams you're touching my faceAnd asking me if I wanna try again with youAnd I almost do(Song: I Almost Do)
Relationships: Alex Karev/Jo Wilson Karev
Series: TS x Jolex Week [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1892239
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9
Collections: jolex x taylor swift week





	(i wish i could) run to you

**Author's Note:**

> Fun Fact: Red is my most sentimental Taylor album. I saw Taylor in concert during the Red tour so choosing a song for this day was SO difficult for me. Other songs I considered were: State of Grace, All Too Well, Sad Beautiful Tragic, and Everything Has Changed.  
> Sooooo we’re starting the week off STRONG with a big dose of sad angst. If you’ve read my fics, you know that I prefer to write from Jo’s point of view, but I wanted this week to be all about challenging myself. So this fic is from Alex’s perspective after he ran away from his wife to Kansas. Because no way in hell he didn’t think about Jo or not cry over her at least once. Without further ado, the first installment of my TSxJolex week fics!

Alex had never liked how much it rained in Seattle. In Seattle, rain meant car accidents and car accidents meant casualties and an overworked ER. And an overworked ER meant long sleepless nights no matter what department you worked in. So in Seattle, Alex didn’t like the rain. However in Kansas, Alex had learned to loathe the rain, to absolutely hate it and everything it stood for.

For Alex, rain in Kansas meant memories of a tree crashing through his living room, of first kisses stolen in on call rooms, and of second honeymoons. Everytime a rain drop hit the window of his bedroom, he fought off the urge to pick up his phone and dial the all too familiar number, to hear  _ her  _ voice and tell her how sorry he is and that he wants to come back home. 

But that’s not an option anymore, Alex knows better than anyone that he cannot call Jo. In fact, he feels like a traitor just thinking about her while he lays in a bed almost 3,000 miles away from Seattle where he had left her. He had left her, plain and simple, for a life he had never pictured himself in. Because now, he had nothing it seemed like.

Alex slept in a bed a town over from his kids, barely on speaking terms with Izzie, and burdening a broken heart from his marriage with Jo. He had pictured Kansas to be a new start for him, a life with his kids, two tiny people he had never imagined. But when he showed up on Izzie’s porch, a tall blonde man had answered and the two little faces that he had waited to see called this man dad. Eli and Alexis, who were each half of him, didn’t even know his name or that he existed. 

And Izzie… oh Izzie had yelled and screamed at him that he had no right to be there. That he should’ve told her before he hopped on a plane, that he had signed his rights away years ago, that he was wrong. So so so wrong. And Alex well and truly felt like he was wrong, but he knew that he needed to see them, to see his kids. He knew Izzie was right, that her husband was their father, but these kids were half him and he just couldn’t live without seeing them.

Then there was the matter of Jo, the woman he loved, the woman he had left with no answers as to where he was going or when (or if) he was coming home. She had called and texted and every time her smile lit up his phone screen, he couldn’t bring himself to answer the damn thing. Because no matter what he told Jo about where he was or what he was doing, he knew that the words would break her heart and he just couldn’t do that. He hadn’t even listened to her voicemails because he knew that the mere sound of her voice would break him wide open.

But he couldn’t help it, couldn’t help picturing her laying in their bed back home without him and pointlessly wondering when he would pick up his phone. In his mind, Jo spent her days at the hospital avoiding questions from their colleagues and drowning herself in surgery after surgery. That’s what they did, they were surgeons and they used that to distract themselves from their crumbling personal lives. And Jo had suffered enough hurt right in front of Alex that he knew by now she was knee deep in bowel resections and partial colectomies. 

He found his fingers dialing the number before he could stop himself. Alex’s finger hovered over the green call button, wanting desperately to call Jo and hear her voice. His heart was aching with the mere thought that she would pick up immediately, that she would be relieved to hear his voice almost as much as he would be hers. But… there were still loose ends here, there were still conversations that he needed to have with Izzie, and he still wanted to see his kids again. To see what he had helped create, even if Izzie was adamant about not letting him be in their lives.

The phone clattered noisily from Alex’s hand and onto the hotel room floor. He watched the screen go black after a minute and then laid back on the bed, hands coming up to cover his eyes as he pushed back thoughts of Jo in vain. Hazel eyes and dark locks invaded his mind as Alex drifted off to sleep, his body in Kansas but his heart beating thousands of miles away in Seattle. 


End file.
